Sunday, September 8, 2013

love

"When do you think Andrew will propose?" asked a good friend.

Truth is, I hadn't really thought about marrying him yet. We had never said the words engaged or marriage. We hadn't discussed how many children we'd like to have or where we'd want to live. Andrew had purchased a townhouse two weeks before and although he took me to see it once before finalizing the deal, it was his home. I hadn't pictured myself cooking in the kitchen or decorating the bedroom.

I threw out a wild guess. "Hmm...maybe next summer?"

Little did I know that just two days later, I'd lug a laundry basket into my deserted dorm room, covered head-to-toe in flour from a day of Christmas cookie baking, to find eight dozen roses, a bottle of my favorite perfume, a lovely dress I'd been eyeing for weeks, a pair of delicate silver heals, and a handwritten letter tied up like a scroll. The letter told me to get myself ready and meet him at the bench on campus where he first told me he loved me. I knew just where to go.

Lots of candles.
Lots of flowers.
Sweet words I've long forgotten.
And a ring.

And so it began...No, that's not right. Our story began long before that moment. Long before we met for the first time, close to midnight in my freshman dorm room - no makeup, hair a mess, ratty pajama shorts and glasses, studying at my desk. He said hi from the doorway and I startled like one of those fainting goats. Yep, romance was already in the air.

Our story started long before I was a goofy high school student whose only dating prospect was a guy who left a sickly flower in my locker with a note that said "when I seen this rose, I think of you." It started long before I hurriedly made my way to the front of the auditorium with the rest of the summer campers to pick out my "promise key," thinking, Okay...yeah, I won't have sex til I'm married but do I seriously need to wear a Chevrolet key on a fake leather string around my neck?

I think our story may have started with a wild-haired little girl, asleep in the pre-dawn stillness, only aware of her dad's hand on her little head, praying for her daily before he left for work - praying that she would know God intimately and live life joyfully, and also praying for another child somewhere out there in the world whom God was already preparing to hold her hand through the brightest and darkest moments of life. My dad prayed for me and for Andrew every single day from the time I was born. If our journey was a storybook, those whispered prayers would grace page one.

We prepared for our wedding, looking so young and thin and tan and not even realizing that a few short years later, we'd look more like...parents.









And then, six years ago today, there was a wedding. Our very own heavenly day.


































Marriage is beautiful. A most precious gift. But it is certainly...certainly one we have to fight for. I can be annoyingly persistent during arguments, refusing to let things go until they are fully resolved...whatever that means. I am perpetually late and always have a half-baked excuse. I tend to over-promise and under-deliver. I'm hard on our belongings, mindlessly slamming down faucets til they leak or denting walls with my carelessness.

And my husband...is wonderful. He cooks deliciously, cleans efficiently, takes care of everything automotive, manages our bills and finances, works his butt off to provide for us, makes me laugh all the time, tells me I'm beautiful, is fully engaged in parenting, has a generous servant's heart...and he drives me crazy. His communication skills leave something to be desired, although he's getting better every year. His pride can sometimes overshadow his gracious nature. When he's tired, he gets bossy and critical. Our fights can feel incredibly unproductive, almost one-sided. We get angrier and angier - him shutting down and me pushing the issue until neither of us have a clue what we're fighting about or how we'll know when it's over. In the ugliest moments, we sling the "d-word" at one another like a hand grenade with an intact pin.

Even six years in, sometimes we suck at marriage.

But six years in, this is exactly where I want to be. With my man and our girl and our pup. We have lots of chapters ahead of us. A new home is on the horizon, and hopefully we'll follow up that chapter with one about another pregnancy, a new baby.

I read this quote by Shauna Niequist the other day...and then I read it again and again and again. Maybe some of you can relate.

"I had thought that we became a family on the day we were married. What I have found, though, is that the web starts as just one fine filament on that day, and spins and spins around us as life presents itself to us day by day. And on some days, the strands spin around us double-time, spinning us like a top and binding us like rubber cement."

Oh how I feel that! Dizzy from the spinning, sticky with that glue.

And this quote, authored by an unknown poet, I'll leave just for Andrew...

"I cannot take the chance that you don't know how much it means to me - you carrying my hopes like precious cargo and traveling with me to dreams come true. So I will tell you again and again as if it were the first time - it is an honor, it is a privilege, it is a joy to share with you the path."



35 comments:

  1. Beautiful Emily, congratulations on six crazy, beautiful years!

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  2. This entire post made me cry...and I am not a big crier. Thanks for sharing the ugly and the beautiful all together. :)

    http://homedaycareandme.wordpress.com/2013/08/01/with-hope/

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  3. Ok, I'm in tears. Happy anniversary! Absolutely gorgeous pics....my fave is the last one...just the way you are looking at him. So sweet. Thank you for reminding me how much I appreciate my own marriage too. Blessings to you both!

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  4. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I love that your Dad prayed for you both from the day you were born. I imagine he still does even now. I love that you shared that in your ugliest moments the d-word gets tossed around, not because I'm glad it does, but because I can relate. The pictures are gorgoues. You are stunningly beautiful, inside and out. Love the quote at the end. Happy anniversary!

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  5. I always love your writing. Thank you for sharing your love story with us. It is beautiful! Happy anniversary my friend.

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  6. Beautiful story! Beautiful pictures! You guys are so cute and certainly sound made for each other. I am sure there are countless more chapters just waiting to be written in your book. Happy anniversary!

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  7. Happy anniversary, sweet Em and Andrew. You, indeed, are pure delight.

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  8. Love all these sweet photos! :-) You two look so great together! And you have one gorgeous smile. :)

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  9. Argh this is ridiculously beautiful!! And the pictures!! I die!! That very first kissing engagement picture...ummm...that could definitely be a movie poster or perhaps the front of a Harlequin novel or something, hahahaha (I mean that in the best way possible!!). Yall are smokin' hot! LOVE your wedding pictures and colors, too! That bright orangey-red...faaaabulous!! Happy Anniversary!

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  10. How Wonderful! My husband and I just celebrated 3 years last week.

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  11. Happy anniversary. You. Are. Gorgeous. Oh my!!!! I love every one of these pictures, you are just radiant girl! I love all the colors, your dress, your hair, you sure make one beautiful bride. And as always, this whole thing is so beautifully written. Love is a choice, not a feeling - so glad I can join girls like you who love marriage and fight for marriage!!! Hope you get to do something extra special with your love <3

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  12. Oh my goodness this was such a beautiful post! Happy Anniversary to you both, you're right marriage is such an amazing gift. Thank you for sharing your story with us, definitely had me tearing up at the end and loved how your dad prayed for you daily! Here is to many, many more chapters and happy memories ahead for your family!

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  13. Happy Anniversary Em! Your photographs are BEAUTIFUL, but even more so is your heart! Thank you for sharing and reminding us all how blessed we are to have found love! Thankful that we have something worth fighting for! Wishing you and Andrew the very best on the next of life's adventures!

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  14. Beautiful post! You two are darling! Happy anniversary to you both!

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  15. Happy anniversary Em and Andrew!! And congratulations on 6 beautiful years. Wishing you both a lifetime more filled with lots of memories and adventures.

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  16. What a beautiful day for a beautiful couple - both inside and out. A very honest tribute to marriage in all its ups and downs...

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  17. I love everything about this post.... The beautiful pictures, the sweet, sweet story of you two, your writing... It is all just perfect! Happy Anniversary :)

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  18. What an absolutely beautiful post. And the pictures! Amazing! I love the stories--so romantic. It's proposal stories like this one that make me long for one of my own.

    Marriage is a very powerful and sacred thing and you're right, it requires so much work and struggle and commitment. You do have to fight for it, even when you're tired and you don't think you can fight any longer.

    Happy anniversary. I hope the next six years bring more happiness than anything else.

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  19. Thank you so much for sharing this post. It is really, really beautiful and special. Not to mention, the pictures are amazing. Did Andrew read it? He should :) You paint a lovely picture of a relationship developing into a family and a life together.

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  20. What a truly beautiful post! I love, love, LOVE looking at peoples wedding photos, and yours don't disappoint! What a gorgeous wedding! The love you have for each other radiates in each photo - it's amazing and fantastic!

    Your raw honesty is what I love about you the most. B thinks we're the only couple on the planet that fights, and in our worst, rarest moments, he'll throw out that, "if we didn't have a child, deciding how to proceed from here would be easy," and that pierces my heart deeply. I'm relieved to know that we're not the only people who love each other as much as we do, but also say such ugly things in our worst moments.

    Happy anniversary to you both!

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  21. This was an amazing post and I was so honored that you chose to share it with all of us. Your pictures are stunning. The obvious love between you and Andrew is so very apparent. I hope that you had a wonderful anniversary Sunday and spent the day feeling truly blessed for each other and your sweet little girl.

    Happiest of anniversaries sweet, sweet friend. xoxo

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  22. This is just so amazing and I love every single bit of it! Your photos are beautiful :) Happy Anniversary to both of you :)

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  23. Happy Anniversary!!! Another beautiful and honest post.

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  24. Happy anniversary!! What a beautiful post and a beautiful couple! Both of the quotes that you posted are perfect and I particularly like the second one. Even if it is just for Andrew, I think it's a wonderful reminder to TELL our loved ones not only how much we love them but also how much we appreciate them.

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  25. Beautiful post, beautiful pictures, beautiful people. :) LOVE! Happy Anniversary!

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  26. Happy anniversary! Lovely photos and stories of your lives together.

    xxxooo

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  27. Beautiful pictures!!!! Happy couple! So blessed!

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  28. Awesome, beautiful post!!! So honest and real and perfect. Happy Anniversary to you both (belated now of course). You were both so beautiful then and still are now. Loved seeing all of these photos!

    And also.. miss your posts!!

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  29. What an amazing tribute to love, to marriage, to family--beautifully, beautifully written. And the photos! Just beautiful in every way. Congrats on six years (and all the years before that made that day possible). May the hard times get easier, and the good times be more plentiful. Thanks so much for sharing!

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  30. I held my breath while reading...I don't realize it until I exhaled at the end. This is what we fight for. This kind of love. I've been married 17 years and can tell you in detail the rough spots...the times when it seemed so hard. I round the time off in years and out of the 17 there were probably 3 years. But we fight for it...even when it gets sticky and the web feels more like a prison than the cozy home we've built - day after day. . God has blessed us tremendously and I have no regrets . Like you, I know I am exactly where I want to be. Anniversary blessings friend!

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  31. Beautiful post, beautiful pictures. Thank you for sharing.

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  32. I loved this view into your world! (also...I loved your hair on your wedding day! ...and your dress!)

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  33. Em, I have missed you in this blogging world! I hope that everything is alright?

    I have nominated you for the Sunshine Award. Here is the link: http://oldladynobaby.blogspot.com/2013/10/sunshine-award-part-i.html

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  34. Beautiful! Just beautiful. Congratulations on your anniversary, another Oh Happy Day indeed :)

    (I love the Shauna Niequist quotation. It arrived at a very good moment for me.)

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