Sunday, January 18, 2015

how to talk about your miscarriage


First of all, I am just so sorry that your baby died and that you are now facing such sorrow. The grief that comes after a miscarriage can be hard to talk about, even with your closest friends. But if you're anything like me, after I lost my first baby at 19 weeks, I was desperate to talk about him. So I just starting telling his story. 

I muddled through many painful conversations, but it was an important part of my grieving process, and I learned a lot along the way. So if you are feeling the need to speak out about the loss of your baby, but you don't know how to start, here are some gentle ideas from someone who has been there...

Read the rest of this post here.

5 comments:

  1. Read this the other day! Thanks for sharing with me and so many others! So many people will be blessed by this post!

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  2. Hi Em. THanks for this. I wrote "My Story" a couple of years ago which includes are account with IVF, pregnancy, and miscarriages. Someone, like myself who has had multiple miscarriages (4 to be exact) your advice is spot on. Here's what I wrote a few years ago: http://markandannfoster.blogspot.com/p/my-story.html

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  3. Thank you for writing this. I hate that no one knows how to deal with someone who has had a loss. Some are awkward when they ask, some ignore (well most ignore), and some avoid you. It does hurt talking about our baby, but at the same time, talking helps. And sometimes he (we always thought he was a boy) randomly pops into conversation, and I can tell it makes people feel awkward. I won't apologize for bringing up my baby. I want him to be remembered even though he was lost at 6 weeks. This post will make all of us mommas who had losses remember that our babies are special and remembered.

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  4. A great post. I've never had a miscarriage but I know a few women who had. My mom was one of those women. I think I was eleven at the time and she was pregnant with twins a girl and a boy. I remember her being in the bathroom and her water breaking and her screaming. The ambulance came and took her to the hospital. My dad was there. Everything was a blur for me. When we got home, she was so sad. I overheard my dad telling a friend that he held them and they fit in the palm of his hands. They took pictures of the two. I snuck in their room one time and stared at the pictures. They were so little. It took a long time for my mom to get over this. She feel into a deep depression. But over time she started to heal. That memory is stamped in my heart and I'll never forget those moments. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. I loved this. I remember reading about Ethan years ago on your blog… such a heartbreaking story. I love how you've honored him over the years. I love your honesty about his name and why you chose to name him.

    Love how your driving your readers to mom.me but still giving a place to respond… you're doing a great job!

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